Новая литература Кыргызстана

Кыргызстандын жаңы адабияты

Посвящается памяти Чынгыза Торекуловича Айтматова
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Представлены произведения, созданные за годы независимости

Главная / Художественная проза, Малая проза (рассказы, новеллы, очерки, эссе) / — в том числе по жанрам, Эссе, рассказы-впечатления и размышления / Литературный конкурс "Золотая табуретка"
© Ж.Азизов, 2009. Все права защищены
Произведение представлено на конкурс литературного творчества молодежи, организованный в 2009 году литературным клубом "Золотая Табуретка" АУЦА, ОО «Центр социальной интеграции» и электронной библиотекой "Новая литература Кыргызстана".
Публикуется с разрешения оргкомитета, в соответствии с условиями конкурса.
Не допускается тиражирование, воспроизведение текста или его фрагментов с целью коммерческого использования.
Дата размещения на сайте: 6 июля 2009 года

Жамшид АЗИЗОВ

The burned candle's paradise

Философский рассказ-размышление на английском языке представлен на конкурс литературного творчества молодежи Кыргызстана, организованный в 2009 году. Отмечен жюри. …Мать-Орлица расправила крылья, чтобы взлететь в небо над великой пустыней, едва слабый утренний свет забрезжил на востоке. Ощущая себя свободной, сильной, она торопит события, и жаждет наступления дня. Но пока темно, и звезды не спешат покинуть небесный трон… А далеко-далеко внизу, на кажущейся крошечной дюне горит свеча жизни…

Публикуется по книге: Много языков – один мир. Литературный альманах. – Бишкек: 2009. – 184 с.

УДК 82/831
    ББК 84(2) 7
    М 73
    ISBN 978-9967-25-482-4 
    М 4702000000-09

Тираж 500 экз.

 

“Две разные реки из одного источника,
слитые вместе, становятся глубочайшей”
Lao Tzu, Tao Te Tching

 

Mother Eagle spreads her wings to fly the skies of the great desert when the dim light of morning appears in East once again. Feelings of freedom and power She carries urge the desert to prepare for the day ahead. Yet it still is dark and the stars still preside the thrones of Heavens. Down below, on a little dune, there is a candle born to live a life of glory.


    CANDLE (taking a deep breath):

Hmm! It is getting close to Dawn, yet still is too early for the world to start the new day! The new day that will present a renewed life to those still asleep.

How lovely those stars are?! They are all so high in Heavens and I am here on Earth, both fulfilling our glory until the day we join together to become one again. Let Heavens bless us all and help us in our mission of giving light and life to those on Earth!


    THORN BUSH (half asleep and embarrassed):

Hey Stranger! Why don’t You stop your “priesthood” until the morning and let us all sleep?


    CANDLE:

First voice and friend from Earth! Hi there! Please pardon my morning revelation. I was preparing myself for the great deeds of the new day. If you know, I have the whole world waiting to be lightened ahead. I am the Candle of Light and Glory. How strong would you like your morning light to shine, my dear friend?


    THORN BUSH:

I’d prefer it to be off—you are disturbing my sleep.


    CANDLE:

Hmm, aren’t our lives too short to spend them on sleep, my friend? Won’t we have enough rest on our journeys to the next world?


    THORN BUSH:

Sometimes it is better to be sleeping than being awake. (Watching the candle with one eye open) So you are the new “philosophy guy” now?


    CANDLE:

Please, stay up with me. The Dawn is just about to come. I’d appreciate if you could tell me of the wonders that are waiting for me today, as I am new in these places.


    THORN BUSH:

Wonders?! What kind of wonders can anyone find in the middle of a desert — the place where the dunes of sand stretch to the ends of the world? (Carefully examining the candle now) You really have no idea where you got in, have you?


    CANDLE:

There is a piece of beauty in everything. Sometimes it might be invisible, yet it still is always there. You just need to be attentive until Mother Nature lets you see Her wonders.


    THORN BUSH (sarcastically):

Yeah right! Tell me one thing — have you ever considered becoming a poet or someone like that?


    CANDLE:

(not paying attention to sarcasm) Take a look at the fresh morning dew formed on your body and leaves by the misty fog of the Night who wants to leave something good after she is gone. Freshness and fineness fills up your entire being and you feel so light and free!


    THORN BUSH:

I feel wet and dirty. What’s so wonderful about that? And those are thorns, not leaves. “Leafy” flowers never survive in the desert. (To himself) at least on their own…


    CANDLE:

Why do you have to be so negative about everything? Look how my light is reflected on those drops of dew? Can’t you see the rainbow formed out of the glow of colors?! See how wet sand sparkles as if millions of diamonds have been spread throughout the place!


    THORN BUSH:

…negative about it?! This desert stretches to thousands of miles! I don’t know what kind of pretty place you are coming from but I gotta tell you — the Desert is not the place for pretty talks and Nature’s wonders; here, it is about survival. Every single living being takes on the hardest challenges to be able to make it through the day. Here, a day doesn’t start with smiling faces and minds filled with great ideas to make a heaven out of this place. Here, you shrink until you disappear; adapt and change until you become a stranger even to yourself… In the desert, the best change you see is a rare caravan — hoards of humans, stringed in one line, wander through the dunes, like a lost ship roams around the ocean waves…

 

The thorn bush noticed that the candle wasn’t listening; it was staring at East where the first rays of the Sun, glowing red, shot upwards. The sunrise was truly beautiful — it was one of those mornings when you just want to stand with arms wide open and watch the change of colors on the horizon until the eyes start to hurt from light. Yet it didn’t do much to impress the thorn bush. Instead, he called out for someone to wake up.


    THORN BUSH:

(with sarcasm) Hey Muddy Earth! Wake up dude, or you are going to miss your “beautiful” sunrise again. I also got you a new companion to help you start meditating with your mouth wide open from wonder.


    MUDDY EARTH:

Yeah, very funny. Is it my fault if you are denied of the pleasures to see the beautiful? (facing the Sun) Hmm, it really is different today.


    THORN BUSH:

Yeah, here you go again — the second round of “Oh,-I-see-all-the-beauty” speech. Only this time our respected orator is our “neither-Earth-nor-Water” guy.


    MUDDY EARTH:

(facing the candle) I see you are new to these places, my friend. Who are you and how do you feel about our little world? I believe, you might not have found it as attractive due to the lack of abundance. Yet we still have some things you might find interesting.


    CANDLE:

My regards for your kindness. I am the Candle of Light. My flame comes from Heavens and I am entitled to do great deeds on Earth — change it and make it a better place like Heavens. I believe my light and energy will give birth to the abundance of life you lack in here.


    THORN BUSH:

You really think you can change anything in here? When was the last time you looked at yourself from the side or through the eyes of a stranger?


    MUDDY EARTH:

Pardon the temper of my friend, yet he is right to some degree — do you really believe you are capable of making any changes in this world or even on this desert?


    CANDLE:

Our lives, lives of all living beings, and, thus, the world development as a whole, are the results of the choices we, every one of us, make and actions we undertake. In this way, we all are entitled to greatness; the only question is, “are we going to do the things that seem to go beyond our limits?


    THORN BUSH:

Look, muddy earth. Let our “guest” see and greatly enjoy the desert until the noon. We’ll have plenty of time for further philosophic conversations of you two.


    So the day of the candle started with wonder. The sunlight was amazing for our little friend; with sunlight, every piece of sand seemed to come back to life, sparkling with every little drop of moisture they kept from the night, before evaporating under the rays. Mother Eagle, slowly floating in the heights, gave the sense of freedom, of clarity of mind, and of the wildness of spirit. The candle was faced with its infinite destiny: the Sun was the perfection that defined the candle’s highest aspirations—it gave light, it gave life and sustained it, and it was free to flow in Heavens…


    MIDDAY


    The Sun has been high up in the sky for half a day and it has gotten extremely hot. The coolness and moist of the morning disappeared and was replaced with an unbearable heat. The candle suddenly realized that the Sun was too hot to let anything grow in the desert. When it asked for the reason, the Sun just ignored it. Believing in its own powers, the candle burned as hard as it could in order to prove his ability to be as good as the Sun. But the stronger it glowed, the faster it burned, while nothing made the Sun to even look at candle’s direction. Slowly it made its way through the sky. The candle was half burned by midday when it finally realized how miserably weak it was; the tears of desperation covered its whole body, although its face stayed emotionless.


    THORN BUSH:

Hey ME. Look at your friend. It has been quiet for a long while now. We gotta make sure it is still alive. Why don’t you go ahead and talk to it — I am afraid to get close to it as I am too dry already.


    ME:

(getting closer to the candle) Dear fellow. May I disturb your solitude? It is getting a little too hot and dry; the midday heat can be unbearable, and surely is harmful for you. We’d be pleased to have your company with us. I am sure we’ll do our best to entertain you through the heat of the day.


    THORN BUSH:

(to himself) What a drag?! …


    CANDLE:

(after being silent for some time) I admire your kindness. Still I’d rather be left alone. Feelings I have are too dumb as if I have lost something very important. I guess I didn’t expect the desert to be like that.


    THORN BUSH:

…and the last thing you want in this “like-that” desert is to be left alone. Dude, there is no reason to act like a tough and mysterious guy in here. You got things heavy on heart and we know that — spill them out! Secrets and feelings left unshared are a burden too heavy to carry on your own in the desert.


    CANDLE:

(looking at ME and TB now) You know, it is strange. Just before the dawn I had been full of ambition to perform great deeds on Earth. I considered myself strong and was delighted by the dance of shadows things created because of my light. (motioning to TB) I even thought my light was strong enough to make living things grow leaves. Then came the stunning dawn telling me that all my dreams and visions were found in the Sun. And the Sun truly was beautiful, bright and powerful. I admire it to a great extent. When it came up completely, I suddenly realized that my own light was gone and my flame was almost invisible. Source of my admiration instantly became my most vicious enemy. I envied the Sun. No matter how horrible it sounds, I still do envy it. (laughing) In agony, I started to burn myself up… Why? Just to be better and light stronger than the Sun! Ha-ha! How silly that was?!...


    ME:

You know…


    CANDLE:

…and look at me now. Because I gave too much light and burned faster, there is only half of me that is left. I spent half of what I am for nothing — for a mere urge of being the first, the best and the strongest. All of that was just to understand that I am nothing compared to the Sun; all that I am proud of turned out to be just a little weak sparkle of flame which is unnoticeable in the day!


    The thorn bush noticed that the big pile of clouds were approaching from West. Yet it didn’t say anything. Everyone was busy thinking about what the candle had just told, although the patterns of thoughts were different. The thorn bush knew something like that was going to happen — it is like that with most of those who come to the desert. All of them change. ME was looking for the right thing to say and change the way the little candle was thinking because if it went on like that, he would have to put up with two “thorns”. The Sun went behind the dark clouds that reached it a little too fast. The distant thunder could be heard.


    ME:

What’s your biggest dream, buddy?


    CANDLE:

Dream?


    ME:

Yeah. The dream so strong that you don’t even care if it is real or not; the dream so good that you are ready to do anything for its worth;. You don’t even care if it can be achieved. The only thing you know is that it is your dream and you are going to make it.


    CANDLE:

I had one in the morning. To be the Sun for someone. To be crucial for the well being of that someone in this world. I wanted to turn the deserts into gardens. I wanted to be remembered with honor and awe by every child of the desert. For making their lives better… How could I know that I was nothing but a mere candle? Just a… just a little candle.

Now I wonder what dreams should, and can, candles have. How can one have any dreams being invalid to make them come true, huh? Tell me, ME. Of what kind of dreams are we talking in the middle of a desert? … I don’t have any dreams anymore. None! One must have the means to make one’s dreams come true.


    THORN BUSH:

(calling ME to the side) I think it is going to rain heavily. Do You think our new friend is going to survive on its own, ME?


    ME:

(Thinking a little while) I think it will need your protection.


    THORN BUSH:

My protection?! You are kidding right? I need to be protected from it. How am I supposed to get by with its flame — it is going to burn me to my roots in seconds.


    ME: We gotta get very close to each other. The water in my soil will give your upper roots more moisture and you should turn your thorns back in so that your leaves can come up. I’ll keep your leaves wet from inside while the rain is going to take care of the outside. I know you don’t like changes my brother, but only you can save the candle.


    THORN BUSH:

Why You gotta care fore it? Your water is its biggest enemy just as well as its flame is bad for you. Just like the Sun! (stares at ME for a moment and then gives up) All right, all right! All right…

 

© Ж.Азизов, 2009. Все права защищены

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